Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Just What The Heck Is A Politically Correct Christmas?

Now that our Country seems to be turning politically correct;
We can no longer visit Santa in the mall, to some he is very offensive.
Christmas trees are an insult to non-believers.
Do NOT say Merry Christmas, instead say Merry Holidays or Happy Winter Solstice.
Schools can no longer have a Christmas pageant that contains anything about the reason for the season. 
Nor can they have any decorations that pertain to a traditional Christmas.
Our Freedom of Religion and Speech are being violated! I'm Mad and so should you be!

A typical invitation to what used to be the annual company Christmas Party might read as follows: 

To all employees:
Last years company Christmas Party resulted in so much controversy this year we will be doing something different for the convenience of all of you who do not wish to celebrate Christmas in the traditional way.
You are invited to a December, 21st Party to be held at the Super Buffet from 2 PM until 5PM. The reason for the party will just be a Party.  
  • No gifts will be exchanged this year. Last years $10 gift limit was disturbing to some who thought $10 was too much and the CEO's thought it was too small. 
  • No longer can you consume eggnog, that's a Christmas tradition. Out of respect for our employees who are members of Alcoholics Anon a special table will now be located at the far end of the room (far away from the open bar) it will have a sign on it that says AA (There goes your anonymity.) 
  • Vegetarians and Peta Supporters, please sit far-far away from the main buffet line we don't want you to smell the wonderful odors coming from the baked ham, turkey, and barbeque. We will have a special salad bar for your convenience.
  • In respect for the holidays of Chanukah and Kwansaa we will not have a Christmas tree, no Christmas carols will be sung, Santa will NOT make an appearance. There will be NO decorations of any kind. 
  • We will only have a record player as entertainment and will sing only children's songs that pertain to nothing religious, political or racist. (Example): A Peanut Sat - 
A peanut sat
On a railway track
His heart was all a flutter

Around the bend came number ten Choo-Choo 
Peanut butter
  • For our Muslim employees I realize the chosen date for this gathering is during Ramadan and you are not allowed to eat or drink during daylight hours. Please join us, doggie bags ... oops! I mean people bags ... will be available for your convenience.
  • A very special table will be set up for our Illegals, if you wish to come early and not be detected at the border please use the special tunnel that will surface under your table. In case of a raid, it will also give you a fast exit! Beans and tortillas will be on the menu for you.
  • A note to members of Over-eaters, we have arranged to have the dessert bar in another room with a very small door, if you are too fat you get no dessert. 
  • Oh and for you Gay guys, we will have a special table for you and no Lesbians will be allowed at it. They will have their own table. Also there will be absolutely no cross-dressing at this event. Last year our male CEO got his bottom patted seven times. He was quite a looker though!
  • Please do not say a prayer before your meal, this is a public place and we do not want to offend any of our atheist friends. The restaurant has a small closet you can discretely use to say your prayer.
In our desire to make this a memorable event for all, we have taken every step we know so as not to offend anyone. Since so many of you want to see our Christmas Traditions removed from this country, we do not feel it is necessary to give you our customary Christmas Bonus. If you don't want to come to this gathering please do NOT RSVP, just tear up this invitation and get a real life, you have become a real Scrooge!
For those of you who do NOT find any of the above traditions offensive, please come to our Traditional Christmas Party at the convention center of the Hilton. The festivities will begin at 7 PM on Dec. 21st and last into the wee hours of the morning. You will be assured to enjoy Santa, beautifully decorated C-mas trees, sing Christmas Carols, and be allowed to pray. We will serve eggnog, hot buttered rum, and other customary drinks. Music will be furnished by The Santa's Helpers Band. Please bring a White Elephant Gift. For those of you who BELIEVE, you will be receiving the traditional Christmas Bonus! 
Need I say anymore? Let the party begin! 
I don't know about you, but I plan to attend the latter party. 

The non-believers do not have to attend events such as these or go to places that support the Christmas traditions. I am appalled at what has happened to our Country's Christmas Holiday customs. I suggest that people who want to spoil Christmas for the Christians and Believers in this Country (which are the majority), just ignore us or find a Country you can be happy living in. To heck with a so called Politically Correct Christmas, I will continue to celebrate Christmas and All the Traditions the way they were intended! 
Jesus Is The Reason For The Season!
HO - HO- HO!  What kind of Christmas will you have?

Tea Party Deanie